A tablet has been found at the Iron Age hill fort at Fin Cop, Derbyshire depicting two men dressed in subtly different tunics, one running the other through with a spear.
Each of the men were holding what appeared to be a pastry.
The find came from a recently uncovered ditch surrounding the hill fort near Bakewell containing 9 skeletons, all showing evidence of impact trauma.
The mass grave is thought to be evidence of a brutal conflict between two local clans, but until now there has been no solid interpretation of the reasons behind the fighting.
As finds were finally washed and sorted from the excavation, a small carved stone tablet was found hidden in a large bag of potsherds. “Bloody diggers,” said Regina Lansbury, the specialist who examined the find, “They just think that it’s flat-ish so it may as well go in the pottery bag.”
“When I examined the carving more closely, it became clear to me what was going on,” Baked-goods specialist Molly Crispin told RTP. “The pastries are of two similar but distinct types: one is a Bakewell Tart and the other is a Bakewell Pudding”.
Hostility has been documented since the 1800s between those in this seemingly sleepy region of Derbyshire who favour the Bakewell Tart, made famous by Mr Kipling’s cherry version, and those who prefer the Bakewell Pudding, a puff-pastry confection with an almond and egg custard filling. This new find indicates that the dispute began more than 2,200 years earlier than previously thought.
Richard Stamford, an expert in ancient conflict, told us that these graves are a tragic example of how a minor cultural difference can escalate into full-scale war. “I imagine it began with friendly banter between the two factions at the local ale-house. And then some poor sod drunkenly said something he shouldn’t have – probably along the lines of ‘Your mother is a Bakewell Tart’ – and inadvertently started this tragic blood-feud”. It seems that the bodies from Fin Cop, along with a similar mass interment at a fortified Iron Age settlement a few miles away, were the victims of this quarrel.
Although at a much lower level, this hostility continues in the present day. Mavis Black, proprietor of The Old Original Bakewell Pudding Shop, said: “It’s a shame when a disagreement this trivial gets all blown out of proportion. Live and let live, that’s what I say. Although obviously the Bakewell Pudding is the real deal, the Bakewell Tart is nothing but a cheap, mass-produced commercial version of the true pastry of Derbyshire”.
The find also calls into question the origin of the Bakewell Pudding. Current thinking holds that the dessert was accidentally created when a mischievous boggart began playing tricks on the cook at the Rutland Arms hotel in Bakewell, but this will have to be reconsidered in light of this new evidence.
Reporting by Prawn
